September 19, 2016

Renewed Vigour

Over the past several weeks, I've given myself a vacation from blogging, photography, and projects.  Sometimes I've just got to step back, breathe, and give myself time to just...be.  During my little break, I discovered new loves and interests-which in turn renewed my passion for drawing and illustrating.

I'm going to tell a story.  It's not a happy one.  But it's mine.  Growing up, one of my favorite past times was drawing.  There were times in my early life, when I felt very isolated and spent a lot of my time reading and drawing.  As an introverted child who was lacking in the friends department, my one confidence booster was art.  I loved it, and felt good about the things I drew or created.

Fast forward to senior year of high school.  I had spent the past 5 years excelling in art class, one of my pieces had been featured on the cover of a children's magazine, my art teacher had been looking into scholarship opportunities for me, and everyone thought I would pursue art after school.  You can imagine everyone's disappointment and confusion when I didn't sign up for art class my Senior year of high school.  It was definitely out of character for me.  I was sad, cried at school on a regular basis, and was stuck in a situation that both frightened and depressed me.  I stopped creating.  This dark period of my life had taken away the last bit of myself that gave me confidence.  I was crushed.  It would be another year or so before that dark cloud moved on, and I was able to start rebuilding my self confidence.  I had been out of my art groove for so long, that returning and trying to create the same quality as before was just too daunting.  So, although I did draw and create here and there, it just didn't seem as fun as it always had.

In 2014 I started creating "cute" cartoon/tattoo type illustrations of some of my favorite movie characters and started an Etsy shop selling buttons that I made using them.  That gave me a boost, but I started getting lazy about it, and stopped illustrating again.  I had too much going on with other hobbies.  If you've been reading for a while...you'll know what happened next.  I stopped creating.  I have a history of overloading myself with projects and ideas, and then getting burned out.  I need to develop a plan, or a rotating schedule for hobbies.  Maybe that would help?

Either way, I'm happy about the fact that I'm drawing and illustrating again.  I'm proud of what I created this weekend, and I'm not even finished yet.  I have quite a bit left to finish this Eagle Vs. Shark illustration project, and I can't wait to share the finished product.  For now, I'm just creating for the simple joy of creating.  I'm trying to keep the "Ooooh, I could sell these" mentality at bay for now.  I don't want to lose this creative high.  Sometimes I can't help but merge those two things together.  Nothing would make me happier than to be able to work as an artist, no matter the medium...photography, illustration, digital creations, or something else...but for now...I just want to focus on creating for the sake of creating.

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